In the midst of a humid summer’s evening I stand, wondering if I’ve seen more days than I have left. Floating through life clinging onto progress, I hope that this day gets me closer to paradise, and all the while trying to make each day feel like paradise. Summer nights lend themselves to being an ideal backdrop to existential thinking.
As I write this, John Coltrane fills the air of my corner apartment. The warm moonlight flows through the blinds casting patterns onto the floor. In the middle of the summer where the general tone surrounds indulgence, the night can be the perfect chance to escape the noise and to embrace some reflective thinking.
My thoughts that night centered around a particularly vulnerable thinking that I keep in the corner of my mind. That corner where I keep doubt, fear, and an incessant desire to simply do better.
I stand here frozen in a torrent of time, I experience the past, present, and future.
What kind of a man was I?
What kind of a man am I?
What kind of a man will I become?
Hopefully a very good one.
I realize that worry has no real tangible influence on any of those points in time. A few parting words, take time to enjoy the present because that is the only thing you really have.